Whatever! It is what it is! Such is life! Their loss, not mine! It’s not for me. There will be a next time.
Ever used some of those phrases? Let me say these to you:
- “Whatever” may be a way of life but it will only get worse.
- It is maybe is but it could’ve been better.
- Such is life but you can beat it and be so much better.
- Their loss, yes but it is more yours than theirs depending on what you were planning to give and what you are going to receive after.
- It may not have been for you but that is only the beginning as there are more opportunities to be had by you if it were yours.
- There may be a next time and maybe another day is the best that you can get but see, TODAY is when you can take the best action
In our journey to self-growth, we come to a crossroad where we need to make difficult decisions. I took on a VA job because I was at that point in life. I have been managing people and people’s businesses for years that I realized, I needed something new. Not that I thought I knew everything that has to do with management because I didn’t. It was because I convinced myself I was done learning and done doing. I wanted easy… It was time for easy… And I was stupid…
I was in management and I’ve had Executive Assistants. I knew what I expected from them, what role my EA had to play so if we talk “expectations”, I knew how to deliver and exceed expectations. So, when I became an Executive Virtual Assistant, I made sure I gave my client the best EA he could ever have to be indispensable. I wanted him to wake up one day feeling so dependent on me as I had no plans of going anywhere and didn’t want to end up doing anything more complicated than what my role entailed. In my head, it was a great plan! I guess it was so great a plan that two weeks to my being an EA, I was being given the role of “VA Manager”. Of course, I said NO but my client had other ideas.
Why did I say no, exactly? I said NO because I knew nothing about Real Estate. How can I effectively manage people doing that business when I had ZERO knowledge? This became my main internal block. The “ME” I molded myself into didn’t know Real Estate so I won’t be able to deliver. I wasn’t the person for the job. I didn’t even own a house! Well, I still don’t but that is irrelevant.
Anyway, I am not going to lie. In the two weeks managing my client’s schedule and emails, I saw problems in their processes, in how the VAs were utilized, in their systems. Things can improve. They need to improve! I am after all an Industrial Engineer so I had ideas but I kept quiet. Why? It wasn’t my place and I wanted no complications, correct? Did I mention, I was stupid? Because I was!
I was being stupid!
My subconscious was telling me to go for it as from experience, I knew I can be good at it as long as I put in the effort to learn everything Real Estate and how it works. I didn’t want to listen as it was supposed to be “My Client and I”. We were the “team”, it was easy, it was what I knew, it was comfortable and it was everything I wanted.
I was fine and was fine to be fine! See? STUPID! BUT then contentment was nowhere in sight! Not a whisper, not a shadow and not a sign and I was fine? I had no business just being fine! Not if I wanted to be great. It then became obvious that I had no choice, that the team was going to be, “My Client, His Team, His Systems and Procedures, His Company and I” instead of just “My Client and I”. I started to deal and made my subconscious win because very soon after I started managing the VAs, I found myself running not just his VAs but his overall operations. I conquered all reservations and I wasn’t just fine, I was great!
How did I do it? “I cleared all my jars and worked on overcoming my internal blocks. I didn’t let the job own me; I owed the job! I didn’t let the possibility to do something great pass me by. “
I asked myself three very important questions.
If not me, then who? If not now, then when? And finally, “What would my “person” do?”
Well, my person is ME. And what would the “ME” do when faced with situations like these? My subconscious gave me all the answers and I listened.
“It’s YOU, it’s NOW and just DO”!
So, I did! I stopped being stupid. I didn’t have the experience and knowledge in the industry but I had “ME” so free of blocks, no self-doubt, full of confidence; I surged on and really did! I believed that I had it in me to be great so I gave the company what the company needed all along, “ME”.
You can’t be just perfectly adequate. You know that, right? Not aiming for the best is a waste of time because you want to be seen, not just recognized. If you are always a person in the know, your presence will be missed if you’re not around which is so much better than having your presence resented. Wouldn’t it be better to be a joy to work with than a burden?
So, if you are at that crossroad and feel like “YOU” are not enough, remember this; “Your subconscious is telling you what the right thing to do is! Listen! Do not entertain your internal blocks! Overcome resistances you, yourself put in your way. Believe that you have it in you to be great! Clear your jars as more often than not, things are not that complicated.”
Leading yourself to surge forward will be tough if you let your internal blocks get precedence. You’re setting limitations on what you can do and become! Internal blocks come from the “YOU” you think you are before today. Is that all you really want to be? You need to realize that you can’t dwell on where you came from if you really want to succeed because you’re setting yourself up to fail. That is being complacent, not content and you deserve so much more than that. Dwell more on where you are going and how you can mold yourself to be that future best version of yourself!
I manage a Virtual Assistant company and we always encourage our VAs to be more, to be great and to be a success. Below are some of the answers of our Virtual Assistants to the question, “Which of the internal blocks that you overcame in your journey as a Summit VA helped you most in making your relationship with your client a success?
“Starting my work as a VA, I doubted myself at first due to my previous work experience not being related to Real Estate. Clients would not pick me to be their VA, only one client believed in me and gave me the chance to prove myself. So one of the internal blocks I have overcome is doubting myself, that I can do it. Now Im confident to say that I am better everyday and that made my client’s work easier than ever before, I can work and be just like her whenever she is not around. She trusts me that I can handle things myself with a sound judgement. “ “This made my work relationship stronger with my client!” MC Uy Al-Mahasna, Summit Virtual Assistant
“As a Summit VA I learned to get rid of shyness and fear that other people wouldn’t understand me. Because of the Summit I had the courage to face what I thought I could not do. And because of that I had good communication with my client which leads him to trust me with his business without a doubt.” Cecil San Andres, Summit Virtual Assistant
“Being doubtful/low self-esteem - overcame it by studying and keeping all the things I learned to heart then everything followed. Also with the help of my very own Supervisor of course.” Grachelle Marie Belleza Stewart, Summit Virtual Assistant
“Accountability - I stopped making excuses for mistakes and held myself accountable for everything I do for my client, which in turn made him respect me as a peer. Been making decisions with him and his company since then.” Jefferson Roxas, Summit Virtual Assistant
“I didn't know how to leverage what I know to use it to move to the next level. I remember almost losing hope when I didn't get a client on my first set of client interviews. It has affected me so much that even when I already had a client - I felt that I wasn't enough. I didn't know where to start. I highlighted work experience and skills during the interview but incorporating them into the actual job was a different story. But all the fear of not being enough and self-doubt led me to exert more effort in proving my self-worth. I listened carefully to her language so I am always on the same page and so when I respond I am within the same context. I observed carefully and took note of all the verbal and non-verbal feedback and made the necessary adjustment. She appreciated all that and everything else went smoothly.” Zuen Morales, Summit Virtual Assistant
“Process Driven” “I've been in the corporate world for the past 10 years and it gave me a sense of direction. With this line of work I had to adapt myself in more ways than one. Being flexible is an understatement but a start. To put it simply, Clients are hard to estimate but an estimation is required to move forward.. "Put your best foot forward!" Hazel Joy Morales, Summit Virtual Assistant
“We want things to go smoothly and meet our expectations on what we are tasked to do. And being a VA helped me to overcome my fear that about not being able to do things right. This turned to a mindset that "I am worth it to do the job". That, I can be like other professionals that can earn and take pride on what I am doing. I am always grateful to my client for their understanding and for giving me that determination that we can always be better version of ourselves. That WE CAN ALWAYS DO BETTER ON OUR TASKS. And, we grow and help each other to grow the business.” Recelyn Quesora, Summit Virtual Assistant
ASKING! Am I shy or afraid to ask? Then I realized the secret sauce is "ASKING". It is where you begin building a connection. As a VA, yes it is my job to help but then I started asking "How can I help?" in addition to my daily tasks changed the dynamic immediately. When I think of my ASK approach - it alters my view and fuel of learning too. Overcoming self-doubt of not being able to do what I am asked of. My client once told me "Always be curious!" you'll never know what this person know that you don't. When I engaged to having a curious mindset - My client and I started making a connection, building trust and transparency. Regardless of your work experiences, how skilled or talented you think you are don't be complacent because the Asking never ends. Jorj Cruz Hernandez, Summit Virtual Assistant
Don't let your weakness win! Overcome and succeed! You have to step out of your comfort zone and go beyond what is asked of you. Teamwork makes the dream work! To make things work with your client, as a Summit Virtual Assistant you should have a clear direction. You should be able to communicate freely, accept constructive feedback and Encourage differences in opinions. Set your clients goals as your goals. Set goals, Hit them! Tamara Piluden, Summit Virtual Assistant
Ignorance. I started on this journey as a full-time mom and a resigned hotelier. I always thought being a VA is being isolated and working at home with no friends to talk to or drink with after shift. Honestly, I have no idea at first as to where am I putting myself into. But as I go along, I realized that there's more to it than just doing what my client tells me to do. I get to know them and understand their needs. I get to submit to what they are asking and in return give them ideas that also helped them. We don't stop learning once we already know the process of doing things. Learning is a continuous process and ignorance is just an excuse to refuse to learn. Being VA is not just being isolated and working at home with no friends to talk to or drink with after shift but it is working at home and being isolated with our family who needs us even more. Hanna Danielle, Summit Virtual Assistant
One of the internal blocks I overcame in my journey as a summit VA that helped me the most is lack of discipline. Discipline is a training of obedience. Obedience to rules. Rules in time management. Rules in client relationship. Rules in attendance. Rules in professionalism both in written and oral. Rules in recognizing the urgency of a task. From small to great things, there are rules. I recognized these rules and made myself a boundary in obedience to those rules. Discipline made my relationship with my client a success. Clarence Soriano, Summit Virtual Assistant
Moving up and facing new challenges is a bit difficult to conquer, but if you are dedicated enough to pursue things then, you'll be successful at the end of the day. Before I doubt myself in a way that I think I am not better to do some different quirks in life especially when it comes to the professional world, I admit I am a craven and I don't have enough confidence. But when I started being a Virtual Assistant and doing lots of various tasks, I realized that I can also do what others can do. I started to believe and trust my capabilities. I must say, I am now confident! Famela Yambaya Garcia, Summit Virtual Assistant
Which of the internal blocks I overcame in my journey as a Summit VA helped me most in making my relationship with my client a success? Self-doubt- I learned to trust that my decisions and what I've retained from training is right and that doubting myself just leads to more mistakes, wasted time and unnecessary stress. Rachel Anthony, Summit Virtual Assistant
You with us on this?
What are you waiting for?
It’s time to overcome all inner resistances and you have to do it NOW because if not now then, when? If not you, then who?
Be your own person because, at the end of the day, the only person you can really depend and rely on is YOU.
About the writer: Bernadette Canero holds a Bachelor's degree in Industrial Engineering. She is one of the founders and owners of Summit VA Solutions. Ms. Canero is the Vice President and Chief Operating officer of Summit VA Solutions and VirtualAss.com, Inc.